The writer of one of the blogs I follow is soon to be a mother.
Till I was maybe 25 or so, I thought of motherhood as a big impediment to my career(I was right). I definitely did not want to have a baby. There was also a great fear of the pain involved in childbirth (true).
Yet why did I or any woman who has a choice, choose to have a baby?... it's not rational at all.
The experience of motherhood is very rewarding...that sounds ridiculous...motherhood and apple pie........but it is true.... the feeling is really unique and fulfilling.
After 29 years, I still regret the loss of a research career, but if it was an either/ or situation, my vote is for my kids.
But I still don't know why anyone would choose to have a baby before she knows this. I don't know why I did. Instinct I guess.
2 comments:
Somehow I have a feeling you are referring to me...... it is possible you follow multiple blogs and perhaps there are multiple mothers-to-be out there.
Nevertheless- i can relate to your comments. I used to take personal offense to comments about having children. I, like you, knew it would ruin my career.
I have a career of sorts- but nothing like what I imagined when I was first entering college. I started to realize the unanswered question about whether or not I would ever have a familiy- and sure enough I am doing it! I am very, very old (in my definition) to be a new mother- I'm 36! But at least I've done some things I wanted to do that would be impossible if I had become a mother at 24 or 25.
I am satisfied- but are women ever satisfied? I'd love to have it all....but I realize that is unrealistic.
Yes, I was referring to you. For the past couple of years,I have been taking stock of my life--what has gone by, and in the balance sheet, my two children more than compensate for the lost career. What I would have liked to have is both, a research career as well as my two children, but then, as you said one has to be realistic. In my time, in India, good childcare was non existent.
Being a new mother at 36 has one other advantage-- you make a more patient parent.
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